In the parable of the two lost sons, to which son do you relate?

Recently, a man named Paul joined Story Core, an eight-week on-ramp to God’s story we have at Engage. Paul is a self-reliant professional who, at the young age of 28, has done better in life than his alcoholic father or manic-depressive mother. Paul’s never been close with God, so when our group read Luke 15, I thought he would say he identified with the prodigal. Instead, Paul identified with the older brother. He said, “I’m starting to get this grace of God in Jesus thing, and it’s really pissing me off.”

Paul was realizing that even though he’s been the responsible one—he worked hard through school, built a family, owns his own home, and is moving up in his career—none of that makes him any more deserving of God’s love and forgiveness than his parents.

Grace is a stone all older brothers must stumble over to fully follow Jesus.

I personally relate to the younger brother. I don’t recall doing much at all in my life because I “thought I should” or it “was just the right thing.” I’m normally led by what I think will make me the happiest.

Both sons have their challenges and connecting points: Younger brothers find it easier to trust Jesus, they relate to His antagonism toward religious leaders, and they instinctively know their failures. But they are allergic to church because they believe only older-brother-types belong there. Older brothers show up at church, but they have sophisticated theologies that prevent their hearts from being fully changed.

Although I’m the youngest of four children, I have long related to the older brother in the parable. Despite this, the older brother character frustrates me. The reason Jesus told this parable was not to present a salvation message, but to call out the older brothers—the Pharisees. These religious leaders had reduced following God to a list of strict rules, cutting off those who did not measure up.

The older brothers among us forget that they have sinned and need forgiveness, too.

They forget that there is really only one sin in God’s eyes: rebellion against God. That includes 100 percent of us.

I’ve been in full-time ministry for a couple years now. This makes it easy to develop an older brother-ish sense of Kingdom pride, a feeling that we are the “in” and others (non-believers) are the “out.”

When I’m in this mindset and encounter people in the exact predicaments I have been in, I think, “Well, you got yourself into this mess, so deal with it.”

And then there are times when I silence the Spirit and go my own way. Eventually, I realize my foolishness and crawl to the throne, knowing I deserve condemnation. But I’m reminded that for those that are in Christ, even the ones that stumble, there is no condemnation.

I can relate to both brothers. You see, it depends. Ask me tomorrow.